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University of Maryland

Friday I got really drunk and don’t remember a thing. Saturday I went back to the same bar and all the employees looked at me. Turns out i’m a good drunk dancer, I sit on the floor and spin in circles
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University of Maryland

Girl at the bar lost her iphone so I gave it to the bartender. Before I gave it back, I entered “Your sexy lifesaver” as a contact. Turns out this girl is a man. I guess a pink case can fool you.
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University of Maryland

Went back with a girl Friday to take care of business. Half way in she pushes me off and says its a bad idea. Oh, you wait until after we start for morals to hit you
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University of Maryland

The results are in and it’s not my baby…ladies and gentleman the first round is on me let’s party!
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Indiana University

A girl at the bar told me her favorite sport was basketball. I asked who her favorite player was and she told me Ray Lewis. Cue the buzzer..please.
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University of Maryland

A lesson for guys- The next morning after a hook-up, don’t sleep in until 12 and think it’s normal. I probably won’t remember your name…and that’s just awkward.
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University of Mississippi

Last night I was hammered and climbed in a dumpster. I was successful in my endeavor, but then I got arrested. That’s two off of the bucket list!
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Florida State University

That time I almost burnt the apartment down after drunk grilled cheese night..ooo wait, that just happened
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